And it was worth the download!

I’m not usually prone to playing straight-faced simulation games. You know the ones. If I ever did, it would be for a laugh rather than an actual desire to get enjoyment out of performing digital recreations of mundane tasks. Part of me feels guilty when I know perfectly well that people genuinely enjoyTrain Simulator 2013,Euro Truck Simulator 2, and the like. To bag on this software I don’t fully understand the appeal of makes me feel like a jerk.

As such, I’m trying to avoid doing that going forward, even if it can be challenging. Earlier today, I came across something called — this is the literal title, it’s worth pointing out —Driving Range Golf Ball Picker-Upper Cart Simulator 2013. A bit of a giveaway, perhaps, thatthis free PC gameisn’t totally serious. It’s also the result of the Something Awful Game Dev VIII Challenge whichwas all about“subversive edutainment.” Uh huh.

Article image

I felt the strange urge to try it out, likely because my teenage brother has a part-time job involving, at times, driving one of these contraptions. After spending approximately 90 seconds collecting golf balls, I decided to run over a man with my cart just to watch him die*. I’ll have you know he looked like a sad Stretch Armstrong that had been stretched one too many times, and that I regret nothing. Some things never change

*Also, a quote popped up and the screen faded to black when the dude’s body fell apart like Silly Putty, so that means if I am a complete sociopath, at least I’m not alone.

John and Molly sitting on the park bench

[ViaIndie Statik]

Close up shot of Marissa Marcel starring in Ambrosio

Kukrushka sitting in a meadow

Lightkeeper pointing his firearm overlapped against the lighthouse background

Overseer looking over the balcony in opening cutscene of Funeralopolis

Edited image of Super Imposter looking through window in No I’m not a Human demo cutscene with thin man and FEMA inside the house

Indie game collage of Blue Prince, KARMA, and The Midnight Walk

Close up shot of Jackie in the Box

Silhouette of a man getting shot as Mick Carter stands behind cover